azerbaijani antics!!!!

Come on, seriously mate, Azerbaijan DOES exist!!!!

Bonjour Comrades,

Generalissimo Jeff reporting from the officially named "Secular Democratic Presidential Republic of Uzbekistan" - only an ex-Soviet region could come up with that mouthful!! Though even here the 5-year 'constitutional' length of the Presidential term has been extended to 7 years, as he feels "he has not had enough time yet to do all that he desires!" Thankfully His Royal Tonyness cannot do that in Britain (or has he, I’ve been away quite a while!).

Anyway, to avoid utterly boring you to death with an email the same length as the Visa Application forms to Turkmenistan, I’m gonna send two. The "wonderful World of Turkmenbashi" will follow ... as that surreal episode needs an email all to itself!!

So here we go, Comrades.

Leaving Georgia, we crossed into Azerbaijan (which despite some sarcastic emails IS a real place, okay! Just watch James Bond's "The World Is Not Enough" and it's mostly set there!! And what could be more factually and scientifically accurate than a James Bond movie ... I mean, if Pussy Galore isn't a real person, what chance has Azerbaijan got!!??) That sorted, we sadly spent just 5 days in this little gem of a nation, from the High snow-capped Caucasus Mountains in the north, to the oil polluted waters of the Caspian Sea, with a great flat featureless desert in the middle.

It's a shame we didn't have more time ... but we racked and stacked with the little we had. So much gas oozes from the ground around Baku (the coastal capital) that it literally emerges as sheets of fire. There is an entire hillside that is permanently aflame. Sheets of fire just erupt out of the soil, waves of heat lapping at the air around. Big Wow. In fact, so amazing was this thought, that a few hundred years ago that the Indians (as in 'from India', not 'Red Indians asking 'How!') came and build a massive 'Fire Temple' to worship fire itself. It's still there today ... except the romanticism was broken a bit when we turned up too early before the 'sacred flame' had been turned on and lit with a bloody match!! Apparently the natural reservoir of gas feeding the 'sacred temple flame' ran out in the 1950's, so now it's piped in off the mains!!!! Needless to say it's not quite as 'sacred' as it used to be!!

Further down the coast and up a particularly uninteresting hill are dozens of Mud Volcanoes. Seriously. No joke Sherlock, and all that. Liquid mud full of methane gas bubbles up out of the ground forming massive oozing, popping, and splattering Mud Volcanoes. Sadly they don't always 'splat' and 'bubble' on cue ... so Rob (in typical British fashion), assisted their explosions with huge lumps of solid mud. Soaking yours truly in the process as a sacrifice to the God of Kodak. Yes, Rob ... revenge is sweet, but best served cold!

Just to note, these polite little mud volcanoes do occasionally go BANG. A couple of years ago the volcanoes stopped bubbling. Pressure built up and the whole hill exploded, sending 4 shepherds and their flocks of sheep hundreds of feet into the air and clean out of the crater. Jokes and captions on a postcard to the usual address.

Baku itself is an odd European city. There isn't any real Azerbaijan influence at all (yes, it's STILL a real place!). The oil companies own just about everything, as oil used to literally ooze out of the ground. Now the place is totally covered and surrounded in the twisted beauty of 10,000 oil derricks, slowly rising and falling in their endless quest to suck the nation dry of the black gold. On the upside, Baku does have a very nice Indian, an excellent pizza place (called 'Pizza Hat', seriously!), and the pinnacle of Western civilization ... Macdonalds!! I could say that I went totally native and avoided all these vile intrusions into traditional life.
But I'd be a lying git. I had them all, and on the morning of out departure, hit the Caledonian Bar for a Full English fried breakfast ... with specially imported HP sauce!! Yes, shoot me. I'm a heathen. But after shooting through the 'eye of the needle' for a few days, the Heathen in me needed to be quenched!

And so began the "Interesting Times". Turkmenistan was beckoning. The Caspian Sea needed to be crossed. The Surreal World of the Turkmenbashi had to be crossed for Queen and Country!

But that is another story.....

Take care, Comrades. Medals all round. I've just awarded myself a new super-size hat. I deserve it. After all, we are all equal. It's just that some of us are a little more 'equal' than others! I knew you'd understand, Comrades. Take care. Keep in touch.

Generalissimo Jeff, in the Secular Democratic Presidential Republic of Uzbekistan!

Up the Revolution!!

Ultimate Overland

Comrade Jeff is on 16 week overland trip from the UK to Beijing. This is a combination journey that encompasses Turkey, Georgia, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan and China.
For those wanting shorter journeys check out our:

Caucasus & Trans Caspian (TCT)
25 nights, Istanbul to Ashgabat. Turkey, Georgia, Azerbaijan and Turkmenistan
TCT56 has a 30% discount

Samarkand & Tamerlane's Testament (STT) - 14 nights, Ashgabat to Tashkent. Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan
STT45 has a 30% discount

Mountain Kingdoms of Kyrgyzstan (KYR) - 15 nights Tashkent to Bishkek. Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan

Other combination trips are available making up journeys ranging from 4 to 22 weeks.

Don't miss next months Comrades Jeff's next installment of crossing Turkmenistan. Click here for details