beware georgian hospitality!!!

Bonjour from Comrade Jeff!!

Presently in the well know capital of the breakaway Russian Republic of Georgia, T'bilisi. It is the nation of Saint George and the Dragon, having no less than 5 Saint George Crosses on their national flag!! It is a land of high Caucasus Mountains to the North and South, with a low valley running throughout, covered in rich vineyards. All very Shropshire ... but with snow on the top! The national method of writing appears to be 'squiggle'
... something they also appear to speak fluently as well. The locals are all very reluctant to speak Russian ... probably due to when Russia cut off their gas in January when temperatures were 20 below, seeing the death of hundreds by hypothermia!! As I can only appear to be able to speak Her Majesty's English, communication is somewhat challenging at times (my CSE Grade 1 in French also showing its lack of worth!) ... however, the Georgians have developed a cunning way to break down the barriers to all language ... WINE!! But more on that messy evening later!

Turkey was amazing. If very cold and wet. We camped in a blizzard (all very picturesque ... but cold!), gave up trying to cross a mountain pass due to ice, and have been saturated as snow turned to rain in the lowlands.
That aside ... Turkey was stunning!! But go in May ... not March!

Then came the sad farewell and the border to Georgia. The night before the crossing we stopped at a politely dodgey hotel in Trabzon, north east Turkey. This is the southern hub of the Georgian to Turkey Mafia border run.
And it showed. 8 of us made the mistake of eating in a restaurant on a side street a little too late at night. Outside was parked 3 blacked out BMWs and a new Merc. Not something you usually see in a pedestrian only area. The leather clad, broad shouldered, 4 day facial growth 'gentlemen'
at the door were more than happy to show us upstairs, after asking us if we wanted to 'check in our guns'. They seemed surprised that we were in that area unarmed. The 3 gentlemen climbing from a 4th BMW were, however, well armed and pushed us out of the way to hand across their Burretas and Colt 45 style automatic pistols to be put in one of several dozen lockers behind the counter.

It was too late to leave ... and we didn't want to upset our hosts, so to the restaurant we went. Lights were low. The latest western chart music played onto the glitzy dance floor ... while the surrounding tables buzzed with the sound of scantily clad ladies chatting on their mobile phones. Oh.
We sat. Beer was brought, though not asked for. We requested a menu.
Confusion reigned for a few moments until a simple choice of 'meat', 'chicken' or 'fish' was supplied. The idea of clientele wanting a food 'main course' was not expected ... as that was not the usual thing clients were expected to 'get on down and eat'!! Still the food was good. We watched gentlemen in heavy black leather jackets come and go all night with 'new friends'. We fled as soon as was polite ... I still have no idea how much we paid for freedom.

The border took 3 hours of battling to get through. Georgia is keen to promote tourism, just not so keen to let you in and see it!! However, that brings me to the issue of Georgian wine... and the tradition of 'Toasting'.

EVERY home in Georgia grows its own grapes and produces 100's of litres of its own wine. Which (fortunately) is very good ... and oddly (maybe because of the 100% organic ingredients), does NOT give you a hang over in the morning. Seriously. Myself and another guy (an American called warren), went wandering to take pictures across a stunning mountain town. The ultimate point was near a derelict house atop a hill. So we trespassed (well, we are on holiday!) ... and promptly got caught by a 165 year old woman. Expecting a bollocking, we were dragged back to her home... and met her son, who promptly went into a frenzy of smiles and laughter, pulled us into their home, sat us down and began laying the table.

Tradition has it that, 'no matter how much you do not want a drink, it is the gravest insult to refuse'. Plates, food, tea cups, Turkish coffee arrived ... and then what we feared most. A 2 litre flagon of homebrew.
We spoke no Georgian. The family (with the assistance of a stunning 22 year old daughter) managed broken French and a little English. And with that, the toasting began.

Georgian toasting rests with a 'Toast Master' (usually the host), who spends 5-10 minutes proposing a long, detailed and elaborate toast. During this time you CANNOT drink the wine. You can drink soft drinks. At the end of the toast the cry of 'gaumarjos!' (victory) is shouted, glasses clash and you down it in one. I still have little idea what Georgian wine tastes like as so little managed to hit my taste buds that night!

The order of toasts is complicated ... but over the next 4 hours we drank something like 6-10 litres of red and white wine. The jug was never empty and the toasting never complete. We toasted: (1) The Home; (2) The Guests;
(3) The Hosts; (4) The Elderly (his mother); (5) His Daughter; (6) His and our Ancestors; (7) To Parenthood; (8) To Women; (9) To Men; (10) To Wine;
(11) To Languages; (12) To Our Home Nations; (13) To Georgia; (14) To God;
(15) To Jesus and Mary .... and that's about all I can remember. There were more, some proposed by us, others by the hosts. All downed in one.

I was totally and utterly destroyed.

But it was one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had. To be taken into a family home as strangers (who were trespassing!), and then welcomed like long lost relatives, and parting like close family. Just wow.
Like that would ever happen in England. Ever.

We love Georgia. Yes it has its problems. Only a few years ago Russian tanks roamed the streets to 'help with the new republic's security problems' ...
ending in a massacre of 100's. The tourist infrastructure has collapsed (as all tourists were from Russia), and now just a few 1000 per year come to see her beauty. Industry is in tatters after Glasnost and Gorbachov's crack down on alcoholism wiped out Georgia's No1 export of wine almost overnight.
Abandoned trains, factories and infrastructure lie in memory to once was under the great USSR machine. But it is getting there. And with such a wonderful culture, landscape and history, it will be THE place to go in a dozen years or so.

In 2 days we head for Azerbaijan. Yes, it is a real place!! Full of oil, mud volcanoes and water that is on fire!! Could be interesting ...

Well that is all from Comrade Jeff at the moment. I have made a full report when i visited Comrade Stalin's House in Gori (his birthplace in Central Georgia), and have awarded myself with a WWII Soviet Red Star bought on the antiques market. Just need the big fluffy hat to finish the ensemble!!

Hope all is well back at home. Keep in touch.

Take care, Comrades. Keep the Red Flag flying.

Generalissimo Jeff
XX

Ultimate Overland

Comrade Jeff is on 16 week overland trip from the UK to Beijing. This is a combination journey that encompasses Turkey, Georgia, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan and China.
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